Asking for Help |
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Caregivers often wonder how they are going to keep up with everything. Full-time caregiving on top of life’s daily demands can feel overwhelming.
You need to understand that you cannot do everything. You will need support. Caregiving can involve everything from errands and chores to bathing, dressing, feeding, and transferring your loved one from bed to wheelchair to couch to toilet. |
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Some families have the means to hire professional caregivers for non-medical home care. But most families cannot afford it. Most insurances won't cover home care unless it is considered medically necessary, and will only cover limited visits per year. You may find some support through respite programs, but for the most part, you will need to reach out to your family, friends, and larger community.
How to Ask
At first, many caregivers think they can handle everything on their own. And they feel guilty for leaving their loved one’s side.
Unfortunately, the result of this go-it-alone approach can lead to the caregiver feeling frustrated, isolated, helpless, angry, and even resentful toward their loved one. Especially during these harder times, you may feel even more isolated and alone.
We understand that you may feel it is not safe for others to come into your home right now. But remember that family and friends still want to help. Even if it is just bringing you groceries without any contact, doing yard work, or walking the dog, there is always something that can be done by someone other than you.
No matter how much energy you have—and no matter how much love you have to give—you cannot do this alone.
Unfortunately, the result of this go-it-alone approach can lead to the caregiver feeling frustrated, isolated, helpless, angry, and even resentful toward their loved one. Especially during these harder times, you may feel even more isolated and alone.
We understand that you may feel it is not safe for others to come into your home right now. But remember that family and friends still want to help. Even if it is just bringing you groceries without any contact, doing yard work, or walking the dog, there is always something that can be done by someone other than you.
No matter how much energy you have—and no matter how much love you have to give—you cannot do this alone.
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There is more support out there than you realize. Your family, friends, and communities (school, church, neighbors, etc.) often want to help, but they may not know how. The trick is figuring out how to mobilize support and making sure that everyone stays safe.
You may feel uncomfortable asking for help. You may also be so overwhelmed that you can’t imagine coordinating it all. These are two good reasons why you should try to identify a point person other than yourself to take the lead. You have enough on your plate.Try to think of a trusted friend or family member who is organized, communicates well, and might have enough time to help.
Nowadays, there are many great online tools that can quickly and easily mobilize support from your larger community. Online calendar options—like Lotsa Helping Hands, Caring Bridge, The ALS Association's Care Connection, and Google Calendars—allow you to post needs where people can sign up. Of course, coordination can also be done by phone or email.
People will not know what you need unless you tell them. Brainstorm concrete things that would be helpful.
If you coordinate with others and develop a set routine, you can have some chunks of free time to work, get things done, take care of yourself, keep up with your friends, and continue to do the things you enjoy.
You may feel uncomfortable asking for help. You may also be so overwhelmed that you can’t imagine coordinating it all. These are two good reasons why you should try to identify a point person other than yourself to take the lead. You have enough on your plate.Try to think of a trusted friend or family member who is organized, communicates well, and might have enough time to help.
Nowadays, there are many great online tools that can quickly and easily mobilize support from your larger community. Online calendar options—like Lotsa Helping Hands, Caring Bridge, The ALS Association's Care Connection, and Google Calendars—allow you to post needs where people can sign up. Of course, coordination can also be done by phone or email.
People will not know what you need unless you tell them. Brainstorm concrete things that would be helpful.
If you coordinate with others and develop a set routine, you can have some chunks of free time to work, get things done, take care of yourself, keep up with your friends, and continue to do the things you enjoy.
